


Vent works

by Charlie_Writes_Fanfiction



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:07:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27565006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie_Writes_Fanfiction/pseuds/Charlie_Writes_Fanfiction
Summary: This is just some of my vents because I don't know how else to get it out.





	Vent works

My eyes burned as I rolled over in my bed. I sighed as I rolled out of bed. It was raining outside as I trudged through the halls of my home. The oversized sweater I wore slid off my shoulder as I made myself some tea. Another gloomy day despite my favorite weather.

Why did I ever think that being their friend would save me from the awful things that both them and life threw at me. I absently scratched at my wrists, reviewing the damage from last night. I hadn’t meant to come off as weird. I hadn’t meant to become this weight. 

Why did I ever believe that I could be pretty like them? I was chubby, I didn’t wear the newest clothes, I never did my makeup like theirs, I never even knew my identity. It took me years to build my identity, yet here I was wondering just who I really am. 

I remembered high school. I wished I hadn’t said anything at all to my mother. She hadn’t liked it when I told her that I wanted to be a boy. For years she tried to get me to be her happy little girl. I hated that for so long. Now here I am crying over the fact that I can’t even get the surgeries because of these doctors who refuse to let me be a boy. I was crying over telling my so-called friends that I didn’t like being pretty and would rather be at home reading. I was crying over the fact that I actually listened to their insults.

I had no reason to cry, not really. At least someone would care if I was. My boss wouldn’t care, she was too busy caring for her sick kid. My mother wouldn’t care, she never listened to me that much. My friends wouldn't care, I dropped them after they hurt me. My crush wouldn’t care, she was far too pretty and smart to notice me.

I whimpered as I dug my fingers into the cuts I put on my wrist last night. Why couldn’t I just be normal? Why did I have to be like this? I shouldn’t even be here, I should have gotten married when I was told to.

No one actually saw me anyways. With a sniffle I picked myself up from my floor and finished making my tea. Marshal, my cat, ran up to me as I sat on my window seat and plopped down right in my lap. My little ray of sunshine. The soft caramel and white fur helped me relax as I petted his fluffieness. I wondered if he only liked me because I fed him and kept him out of the rain.

I quietly drank my tea as I watched the rain pour outside. This would probably be my last cup of tea for the day. I didn’t feel hungry anymore, I was chubby enough. I didn’t bother with makeup, I was ugly enough.

I didn’t bother doing anything today. All I did was get my mail, go back to bed, make tea, and go back to bed. I felt awful.

It wasn’t fair. Nothing was fair. Nothing mattered anymore. I contemplated using the razor more, but decided against it. Nothing good would come of it. More and more tears fell out of my already burning eyes. By now the once pretty blue eyes I had were puffy and red from crying all day. 

I was useless at this point. I wasn’t as half as pretty as I used to be. No one liked Hayden. No one gave an ounce of their time or feelings to him. No one even bothered to check on him.

I really wish I had just gotten rid of that mirror. All I saw was a ugly thing, not anywhere close to a pretty boy. What did anyone even see in this? Heather was so happy and goofy, and always smiled. She wore lovely pink dresses and had the best makeup.

The best girl in school, with perfect grades and a perfect face plus the body of a goddess, she was the golden girl. The one girl in school everyone wanted. Her long blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes were the envy of everyone. She had such soft and pale skin, like the sun had never even touched her.

Now as I looked in the mirror all I saw was short choppy black hair, puffy blue eyes, pale sickly skin, and one of the ugliest faces I had ever seen. I guess that’s what I deserve.

_I wish I was Heather again._


End file.
